6 Reasons That Keep Nigerian Ladies Above 30yrs From Marrying. Please Avoid Them!
This is a Sista -to-Sista Talk. If you like take the advice or leave it, it won't change a thing. I listened, I found
1. Acting Immaturely: When you are above 30, you are not in the the same category with ladies below 27 anymore. Except you have things to show for your age such as solid career, fat bank account, strong investments, impressive academic accomplishment, etc the odds are stacked against you in competing with a younger lady. Men who will look for you are mostly men seeking for the above qualities and perhaps also some maturity. Therefore if you have none of the above and still behave like a teenager, you are going to stay in your papa's house for a longer time. Please be different and bring some maturity into your relationships to gain some advantage. Reduce your playing 'hard-to-get' games. If you see what you want, got for it, and nail it koi-koi! Shekina!
2. The Feminist Scare: African men are trying in their intellectual accomplishments, but honestly majority of them still don't accept feminism. At 30 +, a lady is most likely to have formed her core believes and ideologies. Unfortunately, most African men still can't draw any difference between an argumentative lady, a highly-opinionated lady and a feminist. They lump them all up together as feminists and hate them equally. Therefore, sista you will do yourself a favor to be less argumentative, be flexible in your opinions and reduce unnecessary negative energy that scare men away. African men are still scared of feminists. One day they will get there, but for now sheath your sword!
3. Talking About Your Ex: Everyone knows that at 30+ plus you probably have had a couple of failed relationships. Please can you stop bringing them up in your current relationships? Stop talking about how one Ex loved you, cherished you, spoiled you with gifts, how the relationship was a bliss, etc. The bottom line is the Ex didn't marry you; he didn't find you good enough. He left you and married another lady. So stop praising him. It's foolish to hear some ladies say "he tells me he regretted not marrying me; wishes he can get a 2nd chance" ..
. Pleeaaasssee! that's an old trick for men who dumped you to get into your pants again as a side chick. Get real! he's someone's husband now.
4. Unnecessary Shakara: This one is a relationship blunder No.1 for ladies above 30. DON'T give a man any reason to believe he's only one of your options. What are you thinking?
, What's the shakara for? You want to be married and you met a matured man who wants to marry without delay.You have tested him and he is good to go, then you begin shakara, like there's a long queue out there for you? Once you do that, then you give him reasons to check out other girls too. Relationships go south from there. Abeg, once he is inside your territory, lock the exit pam! 
.
5. "My Pastor Said..": Please leave your pastors and spiritual advisers out of your relationship. Pray to God for guidance. Nothing is as annoying as seeing a matured grown 30-something year old 'mama' going to ask her pastor to see if a man is her God-approved husband. Is your pastor God? How will he know? Pastors can counsel you and put you through marriages courses, educate you on how to be a better christian wife but not to choose a husband for you. Abeg! wise up.
6. Pay For Your Own Stuff And Be Content : At 30+ you should have your own things. Stop begging for money and gifts like you are still in school. That's for students. Stop fantasizing about celebrity cars, dresses, shoes, jewelries, houses, bling-bling like you are a teenager. It makes you look either too childish or like a cheap materialist. Serious men pay attention to all those clues. At 30+ you should have saved some money to buy things you want for yourself. But if for some reason you haven't, be modest and feel content with what you have.
I Pray May This Year Be Your Breakthrough Year On Marriage!
This is a Sista -to-Sista Talk. If you like take the advice or leave it, it won't change a thing. I listened, I found
1. Acting Immaturely: When you are above 30, you are not in the the same category with ladies below 27 anymore. Except you have things to show for your age such as solid career, fat bank account, strong investments, impressive academic accomplishment, etc the odds are stacked against you in competing with a younger lady. Men who will look for you are mostly men seeking for the above qualities and perhaps also some maturity. Therefore if you have none of the above and still behave like a teenager, you are going to stay in your papa's house for a longer time. Please be different and bring some maturity into your relationships to gain some advantage. Reduce your playing 'hard-to-get' games. If you see what you want, got for it, and nail it koi-koi! Shekina!
2. The Feminist Scare: African men are trying in their intellectual accomplishments, but honestly majority of them still don't accept feminism. At 30 +, a lady is most likely to have formed her core believes and ideologies. Unfortunately, most African men still can't draw any difference between an argumentative lady, a highly-opinionated lady and a feminist. They lump them all up together as feminists and hate them equally. Therefore, sista you will do yourself a favor to be less argumentative, be flexible in your opinions and reduce unnecessary negative energy that scare men away. African men are still scared of feminists. One day they will get there, but for now sheath your sword!
3. Talking About Your Ex: Everyone knows that at 30+ plus you probably have had a couple of failed relationships. Please can you stop bringing them up in your current relationships? Stop talking about how one Ex loved you, cherished you, spoiled you with gifts, how the relationship was a bliss, etc. The bottom line is the Ex didn't marry you; he didn't find you good enough. He left you and married another lady. So stop praising him. It's foolish to hear some ladies say "he tells me he regretted not marrying me; wishes he can get a 2nd chance" ..
4. Unnecessary Shakara: This one is a relationship blunder No.1 for ladies above 30. DON'T give a man any reason to believe he's only one of your options. What are you thinking?
5. "My Pastor Said..": Please leave your pastors and spiritual advisers out of your relationship. Pray to God for guidance. Nothing is as annoying as seeing a matured grown 30-something year old 'mama' going to ask her pastor to see if a man is her God-approved husband. Is your pastor God? How will he know? Pastors can counsel you and put you through marriages courses, educate you on how to be a better christian wife but not to choose a husband for you. Abeg! wise up.
6. Pay For Your Own Stuff And Be Content : At 30+ you should have your own things. Stop begging for money and gifts like you are still in school. That's for students. Stop fantasizing about celebrity cars, dresses, shoes, jewelries, houses, bling-bling like you are a teenager. It makes you look either too childish or like a cheap materialist. Serious men pay attention to all those clues. At 30+ you should have saved some money to buy things you want for yourself. But if for some reason you haven't, be modest and feel content with what you have.
I Pray May This Year Be Your Breakthrough Year On Marriage!
0 comments:
Post a Comment