The wet rat...
© Standd.
All rights reserved.
***
That year, I was a doe-eyed Jambito in the university, fresh out of high-school, clean, untouched and very naive.
I met so many guys whose sole purpose was to prey on Jambitos, their modus-operandi was to move in quickly and catch enough new fishes before the fishes got the hang of their new environment. A lot of them approached me, some wooed, some cajoled, some lied, some threatened and some even scared the poo out of me.
I will always remember BJ, the guy with the wet hanging rat. I met BJ at my friends lodge some months after I settled into school as a fresher. My friend just moved into this lodge that was far away from school and she pleaded with me to stay with her for a few days. Bj acquainted himself with us and would offer to help us fix stuffs in the room, he ran errands, cooked for us, warmed his way into our hearts and we gradually let down our guard.
A day came that BJ cooked beans and as usual served ours and presented the plate of beans to my friend who did not think twice before devouring her share of Bj's beans. Seconds later my friend fell asleep, without any prior sign, she just ate beans, belched and fell back on the bed; sound asleep in seconds.
I eyed the plate of beans with misgivings, not because I suspected anything but because I don't like beans. So, I picked up the remnant, poured it into the waste-bin and washed the plate.
Minutes later, Bj walked down to my friends room, and for the first time, he entered without knocking. He saw me sitting on the floor and asked if we enjoyed his well-cooked beans. I nodded in the affirmative and thanked him for giving us part of his beans( of course, I didn't tell him I never ate out of it). He saw my friend sleeping and then made his way into our tiny kitchen to pick up his plate. On his way out, he invited me over to his apartment to keep him company and to see some movies on his laptop. I obliged and as I stood up to follow him, he suddenly asked if I really ate out of his beans, I said yes and even lied that the beans was delicious.
We got to his room and he went into his bathroom while I switched on his laptop. Moments later, I felt a hand prodding my shoulders and on turning around, I saw BJ in his boxers shorts, he said:
Him: Are you feeling sleepy?
Me: No oh, please come and help me search for that movie I told you about.
Him: Hian! Are you a witch?
Me: *upset* Why? What's the meaning of that?
Him: Your room-mate is sleeping, why are you not sleeping? Are you sure you ate out of that beans?
Me: Wait, wait. Are you sure you are okay? Is your beans now Valium? What are you even talking about?
He hissed and went into his bathroom again.
I was confused but I was so naive that I didn't even suspect any foul play.
Then Bj opened his bathroom door and called my name, I turned around and almost hype-ventilated at the sight that met my eyes. Bj was unclad with his preeq hanging loose, I couldn't get my eyes off his preeq, it was long and thin and wet. Like déjà vu, I remembered the last time a rat died in my kitchen sink at home, the rat was also long and wet and shrivelled... Like Bj's preeq.
I quickly turned back and hurriedly stood up to leave, only to find Bj's door locked with no key in the key-hole.
I then relaxed and devised a fresh escape plan.
Me: Bj, what is this?
Him: Don't you know that I like you?
Me: So? Why are you unclad?
Him: I just wanted to show you something.
Me: Something? What?
Him: This. *he pointed at his preeq*
Me: *averting my eyes*
Him: Don't you like it?
Me: Like what?
Him: This. It is long and I will satisfy you.
Me: *mouth wide open*
That thing looks like a rat, a wet rat and it's really disgusting, the way it's hanging downwards and I really feel irritated. I will not touch it even if you kill me, and if you are a rapist, you know my cousins will deal with you and make your life miserable in this school if you try poo.
*scoffs*
Him: *looking down at his preeq*
He moved back into the bathroom and came out later, fully dressed.
He unlocked his door and without saying a word to me, went out of his room.
Hmmmmn, I quickly jumped up and raced out of his room. My heart was beating sinusoidally when I finally got into my friends room.
I met my friend still asleep so I raised alarm and other students came to my rescue.
Then I got to know that Bj cooks his beans with E-gbo (weed) and it's normal in the lodge for students to eat beans laced with e-gbo and then start to feck randomly.
Chaiiii!!!
****
We finally revived my friend and when she woke, she kept smiling like a slow poke, she even said she saw heaven and that heaven is yellow
Bj stopped talking to us, and whenever I see him in school, I always remembered his hanging preeq, wet, long and downcast like a drowning rat
***
My friend had to sub-let her room and moved into another apartment in town, I stopped accepting beans from anyone, heck! I stopped eating beans altogether.
Need I say that I can no longer view a dead rat without remembering Bjs wet preeq, I guess he traumatized me that day. Guys, thou shalt not show off you wet, limp and shriveled kini
***
#JustForLaughs..
Kindly visit my blog:
chesapeakesblues
***
Thanks for reading.
Standd,
April, 2015.
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